Siblings

A few mornings ago I was woken up by the sound of Matthew giggling in his bed.  I hadn't heard him at all before then so wondered what was causing the pleasant sounds to come from his bedroom.  Groggly, I stumble to his room and discover that Anna is in his room and had put a small box of toys in his bed and was talking to him.  She had heard him whining and had gone in to entertain him. (may I say what a kind, responsible, mature little girl I have.  She was letting me sleep and knew exactly what to give Matthew to make him happy!) Anna is a wonderful big sister and takes care of Matthew extremely well.  She will try her best to watch out for him.  She is elated with the littlest things he does.  She does get irritated with him when he destroys a drawing or gets into what she was playing with, but loves to have him come in her room.  They have a new form of entertaining each other.  They play on her piano.  She has taught him to sing in the microphone and shown him which buttons to push to make the piano play a song.  She is the one who taught him how to push the balls down on his toys.  She loves to read to him.  In the mornings we snuggle in bed before we start our day.  She almost always brings in a stuffed animal just for Matthew.  They are funny as they will switch back and forth on the animals.  Anna consistently informs us that she is going to take Matthew to live with her when she is older.
Matthew adores his big sister.  He follows her around.  Anna always gets the most kisses from him and he will race to her and give her hugs.  Even when he was a few months old, if she wasn't around he would search for her.  If I call for her in the mornings he stretches his neck til he sees her coming then gets excited and tries to run away so she will get him.  When he is unhappy, I call for Anna to come and she can make him smile. 
I was terribly worried about how my children would react to having a 4.5 year gap inbetween them.  I was worried about them having a relationship with one another.  My concerns were thrown out the window!  It melts my heart to see them enjoy one another so much.  Less than a handful of times in the last year have we seen Anna be jealous of the new addition.  I pray that we are able to continue to foster a positive relationship between our children.  I know that it won't be all joy as they grow up, but I hope that they will be friends.  And honestly, I feel that a lot of that will depend on how Brad and I raise them.  If we let them be mean to one another and treat each other without respect, then it will wedge them apart.  It makes me sad to see families where the kids beat on each other and can't enjoy each other.  So, here's to crossing our fingers to good success for Brad and I and here's a cheer that my children love one another!

Keeping up with the young Jones

I'm not a competitive person....usually.  Brad gets mad at me because when we play games with other people I have a tendency to help out if I can.  I love ties, hate watching teams get skunked, and think everyone, no matter their ability, should get to play.  After my high school basketball games, my dad and I would sit down and review what I did in the game.  One comment would always be.."you need to be more aggressive".  I will admit that I hate losing to Brad and have been known to throw a fit and even throw cards at him when I've lost.  When we went to workout, I would try and see if I could beat a few other people. Otherwise, competition is low on the list.

When Anna was a baby, I don't remember a time of really comparing her to other kids.  She was consistently hitting all of her milestones way ahead of time and astounding us with her intelligence.  I often would have to bite my tongue talking to other mothers when they would brag about their older children doing things that Anna was doing at a younger age.  I don't think I felt in competition because honestly, my child would have won in the majority of areas.  I know that sounds overtly prideful...it probably is, but the truth hurts so get over it :P

This has all changed with Matthew.  In the beginning I felt like I had a leg up.  I mean, come on, he came out weighing what most babies weigh at two months.  He crawled the day before he was 5 months.  He rolled to his side the day he was born.  He is unbelievably strong.  Now, I am in serious war with myself to not be in competition or feel bad.  I know it is all me and has nothing to do with my son.  He has plans that don't match mine.  I'm talking about the fact that he has no interest in walking.  I have two friends whose daughters are walking.  One of them is a month and some jingle younger than Matthew.  Anna walked at 11 months and I guess I just assumed that Matthew would walk around then too.  I don't think he isn't capable because he has shown us that he can stand by himself and he has been walking around furniture for months.  His legs are strong.  He just could care less.  He zooms around at a good speed crawling and that must be good enough for him.  In my mind I can see that it isn't a big deal that he isn't walking.  In fact, it is most likely a tremendous blessing because I have a feeling that once he walks it won't be long til he is running.  Even though the average baby walks around 13 months, it wouldn't be abnormal if he didn't.  There is nothing wrong with him.  There is however, something wrong with me.

Competition really is a terrible thing.  When we compare our children we have the potential to crush their spirits.  Comparing can help us lose sight of what is really important.  We may not appreciate what we or the people we are comparing have to offer or who they are.   It can ruin relationships or pit people against one other.  It isn't worth it.  When I try comparing Anna and Matthew when they are younger I can't.  They are so different and possess so many different qualities that it isn't possible.  I can state facts like Matthew did this first or Anna was younger when she did that, but to really compare, it isn't impossible.  Honestly, I hope that I am never able to compare them.  I just want to appreciate them for who they are.  And Matthew will eventually walk.  Maybe this is my test to get over myself and learn not to care what the Jones's are doing cause it really doesn't matter.  I love my children exactly the way they are no matter if they are better or worse than any one else.  And that I know is true.

*Side not....every time you talk to me I am not comparing what your children are doing to mine.  I love hearing what the children I know are up to.  I do get excited for their victories..promise!

To be like me

A few weeks ago Brad and I were chatting with his best friend and wife.  The conversation came around to the personalities of our children. It is amazing how right from birth kids have a distinct personality.  As they grow even a few months you are able to see different things you do come out in them for the good and bad.  Now that Anna is older I cringe as I hear her saying the exact things I have told her.  For instance, I asked her to get some chips the other day.  She brought out the chips and put them on the counter by Brad.  He didn't notice that she did that.  A few minutes later he asked her where she put the chips.  Her reply was "They are right in front of you Dad.  You should look with your eyes."  Oops.  Other times I hear her saying things and I pat myself on the back.  When she is playing with Matthew and he gets into things he shouldn't she will sometimes tell him, "Here Matthew, why don't you play with this instead" and give him an object that is appropriate.  It isn't her saying the exact thing I said, but I'm glad she has picked up on the focus on the positive approach istead of telling him what he can't do.  It is definitely hard to keep myself in check and remember that little eyes are watching me and copying what I do.  It would be so nice if the phrase "Do what I say, not what I do" actually worked.  We all struggle with balancing out the positive and negative traits we learned as children from our parents.  Hopefully as Brad and I raise our wonderful kiddos we can help mold them into picking up on our positive traits not so much the ones I would like to not admit that I possess.

I thought I might right down some traits my children show off now:

Anna:
Caring, stubborn, goofy, intelligent, strong-willed, drama-queen, kind, organized, fashionista, talented, musical, funny, quick-witted, weird (she added that one), active, talkative, risk taker, and tender hearted.

Matthew:
Goofy, snuggly, determined, energetic, stubborn, content, lovey, observer, and a ladies man.  We look foward to seeing what traits appear the older he gets!!

New Year's Resolutions

One of the dumbest things ever is New Year's Resolutions.  I have a tendency to roll my eyes whenever I think or read about them and get a chuckle when I see deals for money off gym memberships or excercise equipment on sale.  I remember sitting down to write resolutions when I was younger.  I think my pessimism probably comes from my lack of follow through and from watching those around my fail.  However, I am in full support of looking back on the previous year and reflecting on the good and bad and meditating on what you would like to see in your year to come so I guess they are somewhat necessary.  In some psycho babble book that I've read, they said if you can imagine it, you can make it happen *here's me imaging millions of dollars and a clean house*.  Although I think that it isn't true, I do see the value of putting it in place for the smaller things of life.  So here are a few positives of the last year and some, shall we say, goals for this year.

2011:
1) Obviously Matthew Robert entering our lives was amazing.
2) I'm so thankful that homeschooling Anna has gone well.  She was begging to start school this week and I think that says something if it is 4.5 months after we started and she still likes it.  I also love watching her take off in reading and observing her be so brilliant :P
3) I'm glad we have found some good friends.
4) I love that we took a family vacation!
5) New carpet, chair, and couch we firsts for us.  It is OK for us to spend money on ourselves and we deserve it (big realization for me...dumb I know....I think that I still live in the mentality of a college student)
6) I'm so appreciative my family.
7) I love that we have a relationship with the library ladies.  It is nice to feel loved by complete strangers.

2012:
1) Do more family activities other than watching TV.  Two family vacations this year.  Austin here we come!
2) Get back into excercising. I'm not saying a lot...it can be just being more consistent with walking around our neighborhood or going for bike rides. 
3) Making Anna/mama dates more frequent.
4) Finding something new that Brad and I enjoy doing.
5) Trying even more new, delicious recipes!  That may help #2 to happen :P
6) Think about doing something social.
7) Keeping things a little more picked up around the house.

I have complete confidence that these will take place.  Well, let's be honest, #6  and #7 aren't really a priority nor will they likely happen, but let's take baby steps here. 

Out of the mouth of babes

For my last blog of 2011 I thought I would write a few stories of my children.  One thing I appreciate about my family is that we laugh often and what they say and do contributes to most of our laughs :P

The other day at the dinner table Anna infoms us that she is in control of everything.  Hmm, sounds like there is no doubt that she is my child!  Hopefully she will learn soon that you are never in control to begin with (although I doubt it since I still try to control things)

While we were eating Christmas dinner Anna tried to cut her turkey.  She worked really hard but didn't get far.  My grandma said something to the effect that she had put a lot of labor into doing that.  Anna looks puzzled and replies "There are no pregnant women here so there isn't any labor".  We died laughing and she rolls her eyes and says "Mom, are you going to blog about that".  Oh my dear!

Tonight I learned that there are planets named Plato, Earthquake, and Marsupial.

Poppy A. taught Matthew how to go down stairs.  He learned in one day.  We do laugh at him because he will start backing up even if he is going the wrong way for the stairs.  I also found today that he has learned that it is much quicker to slide down the stairs than go one by one :P

He is a stinker and when brushing his teeth he gets an impish glimmer in his eyes and turns his tootbrush around.  He starts laughing and then will turn it around when you look at him.

He has learned to wave.  He is really into jumping lately and will "jump" by himself.  He also loves to pretend drive.  Sometimes he will even make noises while driving.  He has figured out that you need to grab the shifter.  Watch out world!  He has suprised us by showing us where our eyes are when asked at times.  He loves eyes and mouths! 

Sun sun come again another day

I love rainy days.  There is something calming for me in them.  I feel content for some reason.  Maybe it is the instinct to curl up in a warm blanket with a nice lukewarm cup of tea and relax.   All of life's cares are washed away with the rain.  I am enjoying this feeling of contentment today as I tonight starts our five days of craziness and I could easily be overwhelmed.  Maybe the rain is my Godwink of the day.  In my content mood I was thinking of how much I prefer the rain of Texas to the snow of Colorado during the winter.  The last few weeks I have come to the realization that I may miss Texas once we move.  (BTW...the countdown is 17.5 months before we have the ability to move)  I remember when I was dragged down here almost two years ago and thought there was no way I would ever come to like a single thing about Texas.  It has taken a year and a half to appreciate anything about the unorganized, egotistical, behind the times state I live in, but now I can see some good things.

When we first moved here I had exactly three things that I liked about living in Texas. One was that Brad had a job.  Thank you God!  A month before Brad would no longer have a job in CO, we found out he had gotten the job here in Ft. Worth.  That was a little nerve racking!  I am so appreciative that we are so blessed with a well paying job. The second thing that I was thankful for was the apartments we lived in had a trainer that had a class three times a week.  She was (is) amazing and it was one of the first times that I have looked foward to working out.  Brad and I both did the class and loved it!  There will be a blog about this sometime I'm sure :P  The third thing that was good about the move down here was that Brad and I were able to come closer in our relationship and really be our own family.  It is hard not to have family close, but we had to learn to depend on each other which is so important! 

When we bought our house here we started looking for a church. We really weren't having much luck.  One Sunday we visited the church we go to now.  That Sunday the sermon was on the detours of life.  The pastor at the time referred to how the Isrealites could have had an 11 day journey but instead they had a 40 year journey.  I wanted to learn the lesson that God was teaching me now so that I didn't have to live here for 40 years!  I'm pretty sure the lesson was that I need to trust Him in where He takes me and that I need to be content in the situations that I am in and praise Him.  I do feel content here although I still miss CO and do look foward to one day moving back.

I have found some wonderful friends who are able to put up with my wacky and unsocialable ways.  Anna has found some girl pals that she truly enjoys.  I love that Matthew has little baby friends and that Brad has guys that he can go hang out with.  Although it isn't my dream home, I'm very thankful that we were able to afford to buy a house (which there was no way we could have if we lived in CO).  It meets all of our needs.  I'm very thankful that we have pushed ourselves to get involved in different activities.  In CO, we felt that we were living life in a rut and the move most certainly pushed us out of that!  When we do move, I know that there will be a part of me that misses living here, but I know where I am that God has an adventure that will blow me away waiting for me! 

The queen of hearts

Tomorrow morning Anna has an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist.  I struggle to know what feelings to have about this appointment.  Since Anna was an infant she has had a heart murmur.  Our wonderful ped. then had asked us to go get it checked out but we declined at that time.  What was interesting was that it seemingly went away for a bit.  Obviously it did come back later on.  We have never been too worried about it and it really hasn't been a big deal.  At this last check-up for Anna, our pediatrician informed me that she would really like us to get it checked out as it had changed.  When she first told us that I was like, sure but I'm not worried.  Then after a week and some jingle of thinking about it my mind has convinced me that a part of me is a little concerned.  I think I wasn't really too anxious about things until I sat down with Anna to talk about what was going to happen.  She was very open about her feelings and wanted to know what was going to happen.  My mom explained to her some of the procedures that may happen and that helped.  When I ask her about her feelings now her answer is "I'm a little scared but I know Jesus is with me".  I think I'm sometimes plagued with guilt that I have two healthy children when so many of my friend's kids have had serious health problems this year.  What if it has finally come to us?  On top of being told that Anna's heart murmur has changed we were also told that Matthew has the same thing.  Apparently it isn't common at all for siblings to both have a heart murmur.  I know that God is in control.  I know that there is a 99.99999% chance that everything is perfectly fine.  My uncle has a heart murmur that he has had since infancy and he is perfectly fine (at least that I know of).  I will stand strong that things will be fine and take it that this is a new adventure (hopefully short lived and just the 2-4 hours that we have to be at the appointment :P).  Hopefully we can make some's day at the appointment.