Saturday, October 21, 2017

Me too

Last week, I saw several Facebook status's that read "Me too".  Every "me too" had a story behind it.  Feelings....experiences...memories.  As a couple of my friends went to visit a shelter set up for recovering victims of sex trafficking, I thought of all the "me too's" that were there.  I can clearly remember my "me too" moments.  The thing that I liked best about this campaign is that it allowed those who would have never otherwise said anything, to voice their experience.  It takes courage.  Vulnerability.  All too often we want to keep our "me too" moments tucked away, but there are times when freedom comes with those two little words.

Tonight, I sat with two friends.  One of them is going through a very rough time in life.  As my other friend was trying to encourage her, she commented something along the lines of, "I can think of several times when I have felt with this way".  What really triggered my attention was when she said, "Me too".  How many times have we been in situations where our thoughts are "Me too"

Feeling empty and although you have nothing left to offer the world.....me too
Being so bitter than it seems like only hatred spews out......me too
Feeling alone in a world full of friends, acquaintances, and loved ones....me too
Being looked down upon because you have a certain opinion or viewpoint.....me too
Looking at your spouse and wondering why in the world you married them.....me too
Being gossiped about...me too
Looking in the mirror horrified at what you have become or the situation you are in....me too
Feeling like a failure and that you can't seem to get any area of your life together.... me too
Knowing what you want to do, but only doing what you hate.....me too
Being made fun of....me too
Being manipulated or controlled....me too
Being so overwhelmed and out of control you don't know which way is up...me too

The list could go on and on.  No situation is the same, but we can relate to the feelings that others have.  We can relate to their experiences.  Sometimes, if we allow them to, these "me too" moments can bring us together as victims.  Victims in the sense of now we can throw pity parties for each other, recounting all the horrible things that have happened to us.  Victims in the sense of recounting all that we have missed out on and all that the world should owe us.  If we really want our "me too" moments to mean something, have them bring us together into "Me too.  It sucked.  Let me walk through your me too moment with you"  Let us have our "me too" moments bring us together to make us stronger.  While we don't all share the same moments (hallelujah!), we are probably all connected by something. Let us have our "me too" moments help us to not become victims of our circumstances, but victors over the darkness we each experience.  In all of our "me too" moments we have the opportunity to grow and become stronger and most importantly be there for those who need to know they aren't alone.

Finally, don't forget about those other "Me too" moments we need to share together:

That proud feeling you get when your kid makes the right choice when you weren't around to make them; when they chose to do it all on their own....me too
That ooey, mushy feeling that just makes you smile when you look at the one you married and can't imagine how you got to be so lucky.....me too
When you realize how loved you are by someone who decided that the world would be a better place with you in it....me too
The feeling you get when you give just a little of yourself to make someone else's day brighter...me too
When your stomach hurts from laughing with friends....me too
When you made it through the day and that was your biggest accomplishment....me too

Saturday, January 14, 2017

French New Year

It has been a while since I have blogged anything.  Nothing better than to share our 2016 New Year Eve with you!  As a reminder, our New Year Eve tradition is to pick a country to learn about and complete different activities based off of that country.  We then celebrate New Year's when that country would. Last year, the kids had picked France for the country we would celebrate, but unfortunately, we missed being able to participate because we were at Brad's Grandpa's funeral :(  We promised the kids that we would do France this year.  So here is the recap!

Brad started the morning off by preparing cream filled crepes with a blackberry sauce.  I hate breakfast, but stole a bite and declared it delicious!


We learned that in France, they don't send out Christmas cards, but New Year's cards.  So each of the kids picked a friend they hadn't seen in a while, and sent them a New Year's greeting.


For the next activity, I was very thankful for my engineering husband.  I had seen this great picture on Pinterest where the creator took wafer cookies and modeled the Eiffel Tower.  We could do that right??  Uh, it almost because a Pinterst fail.  Well, the second picture is Matthew's tower that lasted about a whole 2 seconds before falling!  I didn't complete mine past the first layer.Brad was the success story and he assisted Anna in completing hers.  




Normally, we color the flag of the country, but Anna realized that the colors we chose for our frosting were in the French flag so she decided to frosting color her flag :)

Next we glanced through some non-fiction books about France to learn more about the culture, geography, and history.  Then we read "Beauty and the Beast".  In the picture below, you can see the books we read.

Our next activity was to a short biography about Coco Chanel and then the kids had to design their own outfits.

One of my favorite artistic time periods was the Impressionist Era.  So, of course we had to learn about Claude Monet and create our own masterpieces!  One of Claude's fascinations was with bridges, so we taped a bridge design and then used our fingers to paint the landscape.  Obviously, I am the rebellious one and had to do my own thing :P  If you wanted to see the gorgeous finished paintings, I guess you will have to come visit me as I forgot to take after pictures!  All of us agreed that that was a fun project.  




France is seven hours ahead of us, so we celebrated New Year's with sparkling apple-peach cider at 5 PM!  Happy New Year!





For dinner, we had a four course meal.  Our first course of a mozzarella and tomato salad is not technically French.  However, I was able to justify serving one of my favorite things when I read that the French do eat this on a regular basis!  Next, we had parmesan encrusted tilapia with a side of ratatouille and rice.   Next, Brad excitedly whipped up a creme brule.  He received a torch for Christmas and was anxious to try it out!  We ate these courses while watching one of our favorite movies, Ratatouille.  As the night worn on, we ate our final course of cheese and fruit.  The kids got to try Munster cheese, Gouda Cheese, and Brie.  





That completed out French New Year.  The kids also received a book to share...Geronimo Stilton an the Mystery in Paris. They loved it!

We did also start a new tradition and work on an old one.  I found these black balls at Target this year.  I saw on Pinterest where you write down fun memories each year on the ball and then it becomes an ornament.  Each of us picked two things that happened in our year and wrote them down.  Another of our old traditions is to cut out a copy of our hands and then write down a verse we want to focus on for the year.  





I am wishing you all a Happy and Blessed New Year!






Sunday, January 11, 2015

Japanese New Year

I love finding traditions that the whole family enjoys.  As a reminder, our New Year's Eve tradition is to pick a country and we do crafts, activities, and eat food that represents that country.  We forgot to this year, but we also plan on celebrating the New Year when that country would celebrate it.  For our second annual New Years Eve tradition, Anna chose Japan as the country to celebrate.  I don't feel that I did as good coming up with great adventures for the kids to go on learning about Japan, but we still had a good time :)  I was very thankful that a friend living in Japan sent me some good sites about different Japanese New Year traditions.

For breakfast, we learned that Japanese families often have eggs, sausage, and toast.  We had leftover sausage rolls and scrambled eggs.  Close enough and it was delicious! 

The kids then colored the Japanese flag and learned that the red center stands for the sun.  We then had a great time making cherry blossom trees using markers and pink tissue paper.  Anna and I agreed that they are one of the most beautiful trees we have seen.  As the kids were creating their masterpieces, I flipped through a book on Japan and gave them interesting little tidbits about this little country.


By this time Brad reminded me that the kids have little Japanese happy coats which we had to go put on!  Both the kids looked so cute! 

Our next project was making fans.  I was thankful my mother-in-law was there to glue the sticks to make the fans!  The favorite project of the day was learning to write "Happiness" "Peace" and "Love" in Japanese!  We also wrote our names.  Japanese writing is beautiful and we all agreed that it looks daunting to learn! 
    
                Matthew's Japanese writing paper has mysteriously disappeared but he did a fantastic job!

One Japanese New Year tradition we thought the kids would enjoy is called otoshidama.  Otoshidama is the tradition of giving a small gift, usually money, to show appreciation to children.  Brad and I decorate envelopes and gave the kids each $1.  (Brad drew a fantastic truck on the front of Matthew's envelope and a monster face on the back.  I drew a heart on the front of Anna's and flowers, smiley faces, and stars on the back.)


The last project for this year was creating an origami jumping frog.  It was super easy to do and actually jumps!


We played a game where you throw a ball (supposed to be a bean bag) up in the air and try to catch it.  Then you throw two balls up in the air and try to catch them.  You keep going until you can't catch all the balls before they hit the ground.  The record at our house.....two balls!  I will admit that I didn't really want to pick Japan as the country this year because I didn't really want to cook Japanese.  My wise husband convinced me to do it promising we could go to a Japanese steakhouse.  We went to Oishii Sushi and Steakhouse.  It was delicious and the perfect hibachi cook was there.  He was perfect because he didn't light a big flame at the beginning which the kids and I hate!  Here, Anna and I both found a sushi that we enjoyed.  This is a first as both of us gag any other time we have eaten sushi!  Some traditions that we didn't do, but I thought would have been cool, were eating noodles (long noodles represents long life), eating KFC (apparently this is a big New Year's tradition in Japan) and listening to Beethoven's 9th symphony. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Why I hate to cry

I'm grouchy and tired this morning.  That should be a hint to not write a blog, but I feel like it would help sooth the soul a little to write out my feelings.  Growing up, I remember crying.  I don't know that I would say I cried often.  I know that I rarely cried in movies (although I bawled through the movie Pearl Harbor) and I did cry in a few books.  Most of the time it would just be out of frustration.  Somehow, when I was pregnant with Anna it opened up the floodgates so that now I can tear up at a commercial.  The short videos at church always get to me. So annoying!




I've compiled a list of reasons why I abhor crying.  They are in order from the least to the most important reason.




1) It hurts.  After I have cried, I end up with a headache, my eyes hurt from trying to not cry, the bridge of my nose aches for some reason, and I am generally exhausted.  Also, the physical side effects are not pleasant either.....puffy red eyes and a red splotchy face.  Real attractive.


2) It is awkward.  I have seen pictures of people with tears streaming down their face and it is beautiful.  It can be moving.  The reality is though that normally, crying isn't beautiful.  It may be moving because one can empathize or sympathize with the person.  For me the awkwardness comes in how to deal with someone crying.  I don't know whether you are supposed to hug them, get them tissues, ignore the fact they are crying, look away, etc.  And if I'm crying it goes awkward because people feel like they need to hug me and I certainly don't like that.  I prefer the ignore.  However, every once in a while it would be nice to have a hug, but I can't tell you how to tell the difference between when you are supposed to ignore and when to hug.
3) It makes me feel vulnerable. Anyone who knows me knows that I love control.  Although I find it to be a fault of mine, I thrive being independent and tough.  I hate showing weakness.  In my twisted head, I believe that if I cry I'm showing weakness but if say my husband would ever cry, I would think that was him being strong enough to do that.  I think I fear if I show weakness people will look down on me or not trust that I am able to do things.  Part of this comes from a person I went to high school with.  She was a sensitive person and if she cried people would feel bad for her.  Although I'm sure she didn't try to use that to manipulate people, it felt like that sometimes and my perception of her was that she was weak.  I am afraid of being put in that same category.  I try my best to not even cry in front of Brad or the kids.  I know they see me sometimes, but I try my best to turn away, blink real fast, go to another room, or shoo them away.  Our pastor taught us a neat trick of when you feel like you are going to cry, gag.  I tested it out and it works although it looks pretty ridiculous if you aren't careful!  I struggle because I don't want Anna and Matthew to think that there is anything wrong with crying, but at the same time I don't want them to be crybabies.  Crying I'm sure is therapeutic.  And I'm certainly not saying people shouldn't. 
4) It doesn't fix a damn thing.  I'm not a proponent of cussing normally, but sometimes it just states exactly what you are thinking.  In the last day I have shed some tears and it has brought back memories.  When I was little, we were eating dinner at a local restaurant.  Another girl about my age rolled in on a wheelchair.  I couldn't stop crying.  My heart broke that she would have to deal with that.  I don't believe in any way shape or form that she is broken or not as good or anything.....I just know she would face difficulties because of that.  My crying did nothing but probably make the situation weird.  In high school, one Sunday I just woke up crying and couldn't stop.  I couldn't place my finger on what made me cry.  I wasn't sad, frustrated, happy, anything.  The tears just flowed.  Yesterday tears clouded my eyes because we found out that one of Brad's high school football buddies died.  I don't know why it bugged me so much.  Matt, the friend, and his wife were Brad's friends.  I knew them and liked them because they were kind, both have beautiful smiles, sweet, etc.  I have memories of these two small guys playing linemen (I think) and do a fantastic job of it.  I'm sad that he died but I think the tears come more for his wife.  My heart breaks for her. I often worry about things that have a slim chance of ever happening.  One of them is that Brad would suddenly die and what the heck would I do.  That is her reality.  She just lost the love of her life.  She went from a coparent to a single parent overnight.  She lost what I suppose was her rock, the breadwinner, support, friend.  How do you not hate God.  I realize that hundreds of other women are in her same shoes.  I hate that my agony and tears over her situation does absolutely nothing to help her.    She will never know my sympathy.  The tears would not comfort. They are just streams of wasted water.
            

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Our Italian New Year's

I'm all about stealing other people's fantastic ideas.  Some time ago I noticed a pin and can't even tell you exactly what it said but what I got out of it was the birth of our New Year's tradition.  Each year we will pick a country, learn a little bit about that country, do some activities representing the country, and eat food from that country.  On our way home from CO, we picked Italy.  There is nothing like waiting till the last minute!!  Monday I dashed to the library to pick up some books and I scoured the Internet for ideas.  Here are a few pictures to help tell what we ended up doing.

 This is most of the ingredients we used to create our Italian New Years. 
Here Anna and Matthew are coloring a picture of the Italian Flag. They also colored a picture of the Mona Lisa
Brad made homemade ravioli, I made a Bolognese sauce, salad, bread, Italian sodas, homemade baked mozzarella sticks, and Brad made Fruitta del Sol. Of course you need to enjoy such phenomenal food with great friends!  We did a red tablecloth, green plates, and white silverware to represent the Italian colors.
 

 
 On New Years the kids choose a few items to donate.  In Italy, they items out their windows so represent getting rid of the old to welcome the new.  We read a book about a famous Italian cat named Nini (true or not I don't know).  Anna was excited that the cat in the book was white and the cats on her dress were white as well :P  Next we glanced through a book that went through the culture of Italy.  Then we played bingo (in the picture).  Italians play a game similar to bingo.

 
 
 
We listened to a fictional story about Vivaldi.  In this story they were celebrating Carnival.  So, we used feathers and sequins to decorate masks and wands.
 

 
 

 
Brad went to watch a Husker's game at a friend's house so the kids and I spontaneously decided to make pizzas.  We made them on tortillas (which I have been wanting to try).  They were delicious.  I had a fantastic helper who seemed to enjoy tasting more than working!


 Finally, we learned about Michelangelo and the fact that he had to lie on his back to pain the Sistine Chapel.  The kids got a small experience of that!  Anna painted a Valentine's picture and Matthew painted a blue robot and some circles.
 
We had a blast with this new tradition!  I can't wait to discover what country we will pick next year!  
 
 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Brad

I haven't blogged in a long time....I hope I remember how!  I have been in a slump because there just hasn't been anything lately that I have enough passion to write about.  Yes my kids have been funny and have completed some great accomplishments and if you want to hear about them I am more than happy to tell.  We have had some fun times, which again I would love to tell you about but didn't feel like blogging about.  My lack of blogging has popped up into conversations a few times lately and the only topic that has continuously come to mind was my husband.  So, today I'm going to write about  Brad.

I have written before about our "love" story if you want to call it that so I won't bore with those details.  Really, I can sum everything up in one line......I love my husband.  I'm very proud to say that after being married 7+ years and knowing each other for 14+.  That isn't a very long time in some senses (my grandparents were married for 50+years...a goal we hope to accomplish). But considering that statistically the average length of a marriage is 7-8 years we are doing great.

Brad is far from perfect.  Our marriage has not always been one to write home about.  In fact, at one point in time if you would have given us divorce papers we would have willingly signed without a second thought.  Sometimes we feel more like roommates than a married couple.  There is always something to work on in our marriage. But, this is what we have learned.  Every day you have to CHOOSE to love the other person.  As my grandma says "you have to make allowances for one another".

With all this being said, my husband has many great qualities.  He is a hard worker.  Proof of this is in the fact that he has gotten several positive recommendations at work from his bosses and those that work with him.  He has moved up levels very quickly.  When he is assigned a project he works to do his best.  He is a faithful provider for our family.

I appreciate that he is smart with our money.  When we first got married we had very different views of money, debt, and budgeting.  He came around to my side to save our marriage he says :P  I appreciate that he thinks about our financial future for ourselves and for the kids.  We work well at balancing each other out with money.  When I want to spend on things that are a waste he talks me out of it and vice versa. 

I appreciate how he has grown as a dad.  I love that he is willing to take Anna on dates (and Matthew too just hasn't had many opportunities yet).  When he comes home in the afternoon he is ambushed by the kiddos.  They adore him.  He has their respect and they know if they are in trouble with him then it is serious.  At the same time they are able to have fun with him.  They love to wrestle with him.  One of my favorite things is to come out and find them all cuddling on the couch and each of them reading a book. 

I appreciate how he deals with me.  I can be a handful most of the time.  I honestly don't know how he puts up with me.  For sure I was the one that married up.  When I start to freak out over things, he calms me down.  When I get overwhelmed, he can sit down with me and help me sort things into smaller more manageable goals.  He is a great encourager and supports me in whatever I'm involved with.  When we disagree about something he is willingly to think about the other side.  When he gets angry at me, he is quick to forgive and apologize.  He doesn't hold grudges.  I tend to get involved with things and drag him in too and he does it.  He puts up with me talking all the time even when he is bored out of his mind.  He is willing to play games with me even though he hates playing games.  He is an amazing breakfast cook and a great dessert maker.  He is my rock and security blanket.  He is able to make me laugh.  I enjoy sitting with him and holding his hand. 

I don't know how I was lucky enough to end up with my guy.  I am so blessed to be on this journey of life with him.  I genuinely look forward to spending years and years with Brad.  I enjoy daydreaming about our future together. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Love changes all

As I got dressed in a purple t-shirt today, I realized that my daughter has changed me.  I enjoy dressing comfortably (another word for sloppy :P) without many frills and in the basic colors of black, green, or blue paired with a pair of jeans or yoga pants.  I own a few pairs of high heels but rarely use them. I prefer chacos or clogs (or my new Converse sneakers....so comfy!!).On the other hand, my daughter is the complete opposite.  Although there are days were she can be found in a pair of sweats, they are few and far between.  She loves pink, purple, sparkles, frills, dresses, nice shoes, and accessories.  That certainly was not taught by me....it is all her.  As the years have gone by, I find myself inserting frills in my shirts, adding a touch of pink or purple to my wardrobe, and heaven forbid wearing a necklace every once in a while.  When I go shopping my eyes go straight for the things she likes and I find that there are several things we can both agree on.  My tastes have changed because I love her and want to make her happy. 

I was thinking how my love for Anna changed something about me. Isn't that how it is supposed to work?  Our love for our spouse/significant other should change us.  Our love for God should mold us into a new being. Our love for a friend may make us do something different.  The love my kids have for me should change them.  Now I'm not suggesting we forget who we are and that we should let someone else make us be something we aren't.  I'm suggesting that we put someone else before us.  It is easy to do that with kids as there is that supernatural thing that sparks inside you to see life differently.  But how easy is it to be upset with my husband because he doesn't show interest in my love for something I found on Pinterest but caring less that I have no interest in the Cornhuskers or in football in general.  If I loved God, wouldn't it not be too much to set aside 10 minutes a day to spend time visiting with Him not letting my mind wander to the worries of the day.  If I loved my kids isn't it worth it to choose to use the patience I have been given to take a breath and redirect their energy instead of sitting in a chair yelling at them.  Love can  make you be a better person, you just have to decide that you will let it.