Keeping up with the young Jones

I'm not a competitive person....usually.  Brad gets mad at me because when we play games with other people I have a tendency to help out if I can.  I love ties, hate watching teams get skunked, and think everyone, no matter their ability, should get to play.  After my high school basketball games, my dad and I would sit down and review what I did in the game.  One comment would always be.."you need to be more aggressive".  I will admit that I hate losing to Brad and have been known to throw a fit and even throw cards at him when I've lost.  When we went to workout, I would try and see if I could beat a few other people. Otherwise, competition is low on the list.

When Anna was a baby, I don't remember a time of really comparing her to other kids.  She was consistently hitting all of her milestones way ahead of time and astounding us with her intelligence.  I often would have to bite my tongue talking to other mothers when they would brag about their older children doing things that Anna was doing at a younger age.  I don't think I felt in competition because honestly, my child would have won in the majority of areas.  I know that sounds overtly prideful...it probably is, but the truth hurts so get over it :P

This has all changed with Matthew.  In the beginning I felt like I had a leg up.  I mean, come on, he came out weighing what most babies weigh at two months.  He crawled the day before he was 5 months.  He rolled to his side the day he was born.  He is unbelievably strong.  Now, I am in serious war with myself to not be in competition or feel bad.  I know it is all me and has nothing to do with my son.  He has plans that don't match mine.  I'm talking about the fact that he has no interest in walking.  I have two friends whose daughters are walking.  One of them is a month and some jingle younger than Matthew.  Anna walked at 11 months and I guess I just assumed that Matthew would walk around then too.  I don't think he isn't capable because he has shown us that he can stand by himself and he has been walking around furniture for months.  His legs are strong.  He just could care less.  He zooms around at a good speed crawling and that must be good enough for him.  In my mind I can see that it isn't a big deal that he isn't walking.  In fact, it is most likely a tremendous blessing because I have a feeling that once he walks it won't be long til he is running.  Even though the average baby walks around 13 months, it wouldn't be abnormal if he didn't.  There is nothing wrong with him.  There is however, something wrong with me.

Competition really is a terrible thing.  When we compare our children we have the potential to crush their spirits.  Comparing can help us lose sight of what is really important.  We may not appreciate what we or the people we are comparing have to offer or who they are.   It can ruin relationships or pit people against one other.  It isn't worth it.  When I try comparing Anna and Matthew when they are younger I can't.  They are so different and possess so many different qualities that it isn't possible.  I can state facts like Matthew did this first or Anna was younger when she did that, but to really compare, it isn't impossible.  Honestly, I hope that I am never able to compare them.  I just want to appreciate them for who they are.  And Matthew will eventually walk.  Maybe this is my test to get over myself and learn not to care what the Jones's are doing cause it really doesn't matter.  I love my children exactly the way they are no matter if they are better or worse than any one else.  And that I know is true.

*Side not....every time you talk to me I am not comparing what your children are doing to mine.  I love hearing what the children I know are up to.  I do get excited for their victories..promise!

To be like me

A few weeks ago Brad and I were chatting with his best friend and wife.  The conversation came around to the personalities of our children. It is amazing how right from birth kids have a distinct personality.  As they grow even a few months you are able to see different things you do come out in them for the good and bad.  Now that Anna is older I cringe as I hear her saying the exact things I have told her.  For instance, I asked her to get some chips the other day.  She brought out the chips and put them on the counter by Brad.  He didn't notice that she did that.  A few minutes later he asked her where she put the chips.  Her reply was "They are right in front of you Dad.  You should look with your eyes."  Oops.  Other times I hear her saying things and I pat myself on the back.  When she is playing with Matthew and he gets into things he shouldn't she will sometimes tell him, "Here Matthew, why don't you play with this instead" and give him an object that is appropriate.  It isn't her saying the exact thing I said, but I'm glad she has picked up on the focus on the positive approach istead of telling him what he can't do.  It is definitely hard to keep myself in check and remember that little eyes are watching me and copying what I do.  It would be so nice if the phrase "Do what I say, not what I do" actually worked.  We all struggle with balancing out the positive and negative traits we learned as children from our parents.  Hopefully as Brad and I raise our wonderful kiddos we can help mold them into picking up on our positive traits not so much the ones I would like to not admit that I possess.

I thought I might right down some traits my children show off now:

Anna:
Caring, stubborn, goofy, intelligent, strong-willed, drama-queen, kind, organized, fashionista, talented, musical, funny, quick-witted, weird (she added that one), active, talkative, risk taker, and tender hearted.

Matthew:
Goofy, snuggly, determined, energetic, stubborn, content, lovey, observer, and a ladies man.  We look foward to seeing what traits appear the older he gets!!

New Year's Resolutions

One of the dumbest things ever is New Year's Resolutions.  I have a tendency to roll my eyes whenever I think or read about them and get a chuckle when I see deals for money off gym memberships or excercise equipment on sale.  I remember sitting down to write resolutions when I was younger.  I think my pessimism probably comes from my lack of follow through and from watching those around my fail.  However, I am in full support of looking back on the previous year and reflecting on the good and bad and meditating on what you would like to see in your year to come so I guess they are somewhat necessary.  In some psycho babble book that I've read, they said if you can imagine it, you can make it happen *here's me imaging millions of dollars and a clean house*.  Although I think that it isn't true, I do see the value of putting it in place for the smaller things of life.  So here are a few positives of the last year and some, shall we say, goals for this year.

2011:
1) Obviously Matthew Robert entering our lives was amazing.
2) I'm so thankful that homeschooling Anna has gone well.  She was begging to start school this week and I think that says something if it is 4.5 months after we started and she still likes it.  I also love watching her take off in reading and observing her be so brilliant :P
3) I'm glad we have found some good friends.
4) I love that we took a family vacation!
5) New carpet, chair, and couch we firsts for us.  It is OK for us to spend money on ourselves and we deserve it (big realization for me...dumb I know....I think that I still live in the mentality of a college student)
6) I'm so appreciative my family.
7) I love that we have a relationship with the library ladies.  It is nice to feel loved by complete strangers.

2012:
1) Do more family activities other than watching TV.  Two family vacations this year.  Austin here we come!
2) Get back into excercising. I'm not saying a lot...it can be just being more consistent with walking around our neighborhood or going for bike rides. 
3) Making Anna/mama dates more frequent.
4) Finding something new that Brad and I enjoy doing.
5) Trying even more new, delicious recipes!  That may help #2 to happen :P
6) Think about doing something social.
7) Keeping things a little more picked up around the house.

I have complete confidence that these will take place.  Well, let's be honest, #6  and #7 aren't really a priority nor will they likely happen, but let's take baby steps here.