Brad

I haven't blogged in a long time....I hope I remember how!  I have been in a slump because there just hasn't been anything lately that I have enough passion to write about.  Yes my kids have been funny and have completed some great accomplishments and if you want to hear about them I am more than happy to tell.  We have had some fun times, which again I would love to tell you about but didn't feel like blogging about.  My lack of blogging has popped up into conversations a few times lately and the only topic that has continuously come to mind was my husband.  So, today I'm going to write about  Brad.

I have written before about our "love" story if you want to call it that so I won't bore with those details.  Really, I can sum everything up in one line......I love my husband.  I'm very proud to say that after being married 7+ years and knowing each other for 14+.  That isn't a very long time in some senses (my grandparents were married for 50+years...a goal we hope to accomplish). But considering that statistically the average length of a marriage is 7-8 years we are doing great.

Brad is far from perfect.  Our marriage has not always been one to write home about.  In fact, at one point in time if you would have given us divorce papers we would have willingly signed without a second thought.  Sometimes we feel more like roommates than a married couple.  There is always something to work on in our marriage. But, this is what we have learned.  Every day you have to CHOOSE to love the other person.  As my grandma says "you have to make allowances for one another".

With all this being said, my husband has many great qualities.  He is a hard worker.  Proof of this is in the fact that he has gotten several positive recommendations at work from his bosses and those that work with him.  He has moved up levels very quickly.  When he is assigned a project he works to do his best.  He is a faithful provider for our family.

I appreciate that he is smart with our money.  When we first got married we had very different views of money, debt, and budgeting.  He came around to my side to save our marriage he says :P  I appreciate that he thinks about our financial future for ourselves and for the kids.  We work well at balancing each other out with money.  When I want to spend on things that are a waste he talks me out of it and vice versa. 

I appreciate how he has grown as a dad.  I love that he is willing to take Anna on dates (and Matthew too just hasn't had many opportunities yet).  When he comes home in the afternoon he is ambushed by the kiddos.  They adore him.  He has their respect and they know if they are in trouble with him then it is serious.  At the same time they are able to have fun with him.  They love to wrestle with him.  One of my favorite things is to come out and find them all cuddling on the couch and each of them reading a book. 

I appreciate how he deals with me.  I can be a handful most of the time.  I honestly don't know how he puts up with me.  For sure I was the one that married up.  When I start to freak out over things, he calms me down.  When I get overwhelmed, he can sit down with me and help me sort things into smaller more manageable goals.  He is a great encourager and supports me in whatever I'm involved with.  When we disagree about something he is willingly to think about the other side.  When he gets angry at me, he is quick to forgive and apologize.  He doesn't hold grudges.  I tend to get involved with things and drag him in too and he does it.  He puts up with me talking all the time even when he is bored out of his mind.  He is willing to play games with me even though he hates playing games.  He is an amazing breakfast cook and a great dessert maker.  He is my rock and security blanket.  He is able to make me laugh.  I enjoy sitting with him and holding his hand. 

I don't know how I was lucky enough to end up with my guy.  I am so blessed to be on this journey of life with him.  I genuinely look forward to spending years and years with Brad.  I enjoy daydreaming about our future together. 

Love changes all

As I got dressed in a purple t-shirt today, I realized that my daughter has changed me.  I enjoy dressing comfortably (another word for sloppy :P) without many frills and in the basic colors of black, green, or blue paired with a pair of jeans or yoga pants.  I own a few pairs of high heels but rarely use them. I prefer chacos or clogs (or my new Converse sneakers....so comfy!!).On the other hand, my daughter is the complete opposite.  Although there are days were she can be found in a pair of sweats, they are few and far between.  She loves pink, purple, sparkles, frills, dresses, nice shoes, and accessories.  That certainly was not taught by me....it is all her.  As the years have gone by, I find myself inserting frills in my shirts, adding a touch of pink or purple to my wardrobe, and heaven forbid wearing a necklace every once in a while.  When I go shopping my eyes go straight for the things she likes and I find that there are several things we can both agree on.  My tastes have changed because I love her and want to make her happy. 

I was thinking how my love for Anna changed something about me. Isn't that how it is supposed to work?  Our love for our spouse/significant other should change us.  Our love for God should mold us into a new being. Our love for a friend may make us do something different.  The love my kids have for me should change them.  Now I'm not suggesting we forget who we are and that we should let someone else make us be something we aren't.  I'm suggesting that we put someone else before us.  It is easy to do that with kids as there is that supernatural thing that sparks inside you to see life differently.  But how easy is it to be upset with my husband because he doesn't show interest in my love for something I found on Pinterest but caring less that I have no interest in the Cornhuskers or in football in general.  If I loved God, wouldn't it not be too much to set aside 10 minutes a day to spend time visiting with Him not letting my mind wander to the worries of the day.  If I loved my kids isn't it worth it to choose to use the patience I have been given to take a breath and redirect their energy instead of sitting in a chair yelling at them.  Love can  make you be a better person, you just have to decide that you will let it.

Speak into being

With the many hours of traveling that Brad and I have done over the last two weeks, we have had plenty of time to sit down an make goals for 2013.  The list is long, includes "to be done by" dates, and has created quite a few projects for our family.  In making the list it reminded me of something that I wholeheartedly believe. 

I believe that you can speak things into being.  Can I speak everything on my list into being?  No, I probably won't even be able to do half of it (see, I'm speaking something into being there...oops).  Can I speak some of into being.....I believe so. 

One of the biggest areas I see speaking things into being is with relationships.  I can look at my darling Matthew who is about to turn two.  I can look at him and say "Oh boy.  We are entering into the terrible twos.  I can't wait for this trying time to be over.  You are going to be a mess."  I pretty much just said that he is going to be horrible and I'm not going to enjoy it.  Well, if I say that then I probably have that attitude and it probably won't be great.  However, I could look at this little boy and say "We are going to go through some trials, but I will love you through them all.  You will develop new skills and learn so much about becoming your own little person.  I will enjoy growing with you."  I admitted that there will be some trying times, but I chose to look at it with a positive outlook and by doing that I am proclaiming that it will be good.  If every time I get discouraged I quickly remind myself about my attitude then I can make the best of the situation.  The same goes with my relationship with Anna, Brad, and whoever else or whatever else I'm involved with.

I think we would be amazed at what we speak into being.  For the positive and the negative.  I wonder how our outlook would change if we focused on what we spoke into being.  As 2013 quickly approaches, I am announcing that I will do my best to speak blessings over my household and all those that my life comes in contact with.  I will speak good things into being.  When I fail, I will learn and try again.  Bring it on!

The Farm

Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go....

That is almost our direct route to our Thanksgiving destination.  Well that plus eight hours :) Brad's grandparents have a farm in KS that we go to each year for Thanksgiving.  Although we would love to be able to host Thanksgiving at our house (mostly so I can do things my way....go figure:P) we are grateful for the opportunity to go each year.  It adds perspective and for the time there takes you to another world.  There is no cell phone service, Internet, garbage disposal, dishwasher, etc.  There is one bathroom for nine people. You travel on a dirt road to the house and the closest town(ish) is around 10-15 minutes away.  You are surrounded by fields and at night you fall asleep listening to the cattle and coyotes harmonize to sing you a lullaby.  As I write this my nose goes up as it sounds terrible, but you know what....we love going.  Anna has been counting the days til we were able to go. Months ago she was listing all things she loved about the farm. 

This is the only time we are able to see his maternal grandparents and aunts and uncles.  He has a sweet grandma who has Alzheimers and a grandpa who I've slowly come to like.  We laugh at some of their quirks such as blaring the TV right before they take their afternoon naps or finding silverware in a cheese drawer.  This trip I enjoyed seeing both my children go and hug Marjorie.  It is fun to laugh at Bill's jokes and discover his humor.  Marjorie and I make a great team with the dishes.

Across the road from the grandparents is one of Anna's favorite parts of the trip....Uncle Bob.  She looks forward to hearing the door creak open to reveal he is there to do chores.  This trip he taught her quite a few things.  First, he taught her the different kinds of cows.  Secondly, he helped her learn to drive.  The first time he took her out he came back and commented that she needed a lot of work. By the time we left she had vastly improved.  She drove Brad and I back on the 4-wheeler and kept a steady pace with the gas and kept a mostly straight line down the road.  Lastly, he taught her the function of cattle.  She fell in love with a cow named Petunia.  She droned on about how you could tell which one was Petunia and how she could pet her.  Well, Bob let is slip that Petunia was going to become steak.  Anna didn't think that was such a great idea but they compromised with a deal that he would at least wait until after she left to sell off her beloved cow.  That's life....  As much as she enjoys being around him, I think he enjoys being around her.  One morning he walked in and called "Where's my Anna?".  I'm so thankful that she has an opportunity to have these experiences.

Brad and I's favorite part is just being able to be around family.  Some of my favorite things about this trip were getting to have a late night conversation with my bil, watching my children be in this environment, being able to help out even though the contributions were small, seeing positive things about people, and just getting away.  I don't know how many more years we are going to get to go to the farm, but I am blessed for the times I have and look forward to the times that we have in the future.

Anna's First Buy

Last week Anna was filled with anticipation.  She was going to make her first purchase with her own money.  It was easy for her to choose what she wanted....something Mom said she wouldn't buy her....a scooter.  We had gone on Craigslist and Walmart.com to look at different options.  Her and I discussed the pros and cons of buying something used versus something new. She weighed her options and choose a pink and silver scooter with streamers.  Now we just had to make the big trip.  Thankfully for her, grandparents were in town and took her before out next trip to Walmart.  They didn't have the one she had decided on, were out of stock on her second choice, but there was a was a Princess one that would do.  Luckily, it ended up being the cheapest.  She loves her scooter!  She has worn out the sidewalks in front of our house with her riding!  The funniest thing is that Matthew chases her up and down the sidewalk or follows her with his little bike :)

It is very important to Brad and I that we raise our children to have a good foundation for handling money.  Personally, I believe that my parents did a great job teaching me about finances.  Brad makes great financial decisions.  When one of us wants to splurge the other one can reason.  We are both frugal and choose not to purchase things we can't afford.  The only debt we have is our house.  We weigh our options carefully and try to think about our future needs instead of what would make us happy right now. 

In attempting to help Anna understand the basics for financial success (according to B and J) we  (and my parents) bought Anna three banks.  Each of them is a Princess.  She picked which Princess went with which bank.  Cinderella is her savings bank, Tangled is for spending, and Belle is for tithe. (Later we will get her another one for long term savings, but in a few years).  We gathered up all her money and divided it out equally.  She will have a notepad for her to keep track of her saving and spending habits.  Not only does this help her keep track of what she does, but it is great for math :)  Our biggest issue to tackle next is that just because she has money in her spending bank it doesn't mean she has to spend it all. 

Friendships

In the last few months I have been rather sad.  It has become obvious that one of my closest friendships has deteriorated.  Although I'm not sure you can label a reason, I think it is just a drifting away.  Losing a friend is one of the worst feelings ever.  I do believe though that in different seasons of life, different people are in your life for a reason.  I'm not lucky enough to have a best friend from birth.  However, I have been blessed to have had several best friends throughout my lifetime.  Even though we aren't close now, I still look back with positive thoughts and memories of them.  They will always have a special place in my heart. 

I'm not a person that needs lots of friends.  I'm not that good at keeping in touch anyway so it is probably a good thing :)  I am married to a wonderful friend.  He is also my rock.  I love traveling through life with him by my side. He balances me out often times and I think I do the same for him. My mom and I have a great friendship and she can be the tough love friend that I need and the biggest supporter of me.  Those two are my best of the best friends I have.  I think one thing I have learned about friendship from them is that both of them can be the people who annoy me the most, and I can be the same to them.  But at the end of the day, we can get over it and the love we have for each other surpasses the anger. In high school and college, my two closest girlfriends and I had completely different views on most everything.  We were able to set that aside and just enjoy each other.  In my opinion, that is what a friendship should be.  You should make allowances for one another.  See the other person as Jesus would see them as my Grandma would say.

I have several other good friends.  When I was younger I used to say that God was my best friend and then I have 27 close friends :P  I never wanted to hurt anyone by saying someone was my best friend even though in my mind I probably had one.  We have been talking with Anna about how she can have several best friends.  She is such a social butterfly that I'm sure if she had Facebook she would be the one to have thousands of friends :P  When we go to church, more people say hi to her than me! 

My mom and I were talking the other day about best friends.  We chatted about what we would want in a best friend and how it is lonely if you don't have one.  I want to know about other people's best friends.  Have you had them for a long time?  What makes them your best friend?  What does it mean to be a friend?

My new hippie love: homemade cleaner

Brad often accuses me of being a hippie.  Yes, I admit that I do have many hippie tendencies that I'm quite proud of.  In college, my best friend Jess got me started on recycling and it has just progressed since then.  My newest form of hippism is making my own cleaner.

I have been wanting to make my own cleaner for while now.  I have looked up many recipes and have a few pinned on Pinterest.  However, I just couldn't make myself try any of them.  What if they didn't do as good of a job?  Really, can vinegar, baking soda, cream of tartar, and hydrogen peroxide do what they claim to do?  The last time I was at the store I told myself that it was the last time I was going to buy a commercial multi-purpose cleaner.  I really hate the smells of cleaner and when I clean I like to not have my children around so they aren't breathing the chemicals in.  And I hate breathing the chemicals in.  On top of those complaints, I haven't been entirely happy with recent brands I have been trying of cleaners.

While I was gone, Brad finished off my bottle of bathroom cleaner.  I decided that tonight I was breaking down and making my mixture of vinegar, water, and dish soap bathroom cleaner.  First, I have pink dish soap so I was very happy with the color (which is amazing since I used to adhore pink).  I enjoyed that I didn't feel like my esophagus was being chemically burned and best of all I didn't mind that Matthew kept coming in and out of the bathrooms while I was cleaning (well, maybe I minded since he kept getting into everything!!).  The skeptical me was still a little concerned with how the cleaner would work.  And what do you know, it was great!  It got off some marks that my previous bathroom cleaner couldn't get off!!!  I hate to cleaning my house as most of you know, but I tonight I couldn't wait to go clean my second bathroom!  In fact, I can't wait to try out more cleaners and try this one tonight on other things!  Brad is already heard me rave about this cleaner four or five times tonight :P 

I am definitely going to switch to using this cleaner and trying out a few other ones.  I will admit though that I am still going to keep around a few commercial cleaners like Soft Scrub, Pinesol, and one other one that helps with hard water stains.  But goodbye the rest of you commercial cleaners!